Sunday, February 3, 2008

Dating with Kids...a plea for advice

OMG this is the second time I've tried it, and it's a huge PIA. At least DBF is being supportive and understanding with all the chaos and crap the kids are pulling. No matter what my kids think, I deserve a chance at happiness and I am allowed to have a life that does not alwyas center around them. In other words my weekend with DBF was interrupted by kids and their needs and issues constantly.

I've talked to XH about all this and he agrees that what the kids have pulled this weekend is not acceptable behavior and he is supporting me and my right to a life. He's going to talk to the kids later about the attitudes and actions this weekend, and hopefully help to point out how selfishly they've been acting. Yes, I try to manage one weekend evening with DBF for some just us time, and we tried to shuffle the schedule this weekend, and it didn't work. So anytime I had alone with him, was totally kid interrupted and filled with dramatics out of kids.

I'm not going into details about which kid did what, because that's not what this is about today. But suffice it to say it started with one on THursday and hasn't let up with the other one yet. How my mom ever managed to date my step-dad and get to the point of marrying him and managing to stay married with 6 of us between 10 and 18, is completely beyond me. But then again, we all had more respect for our parents than kids today have for any adult.

So if anyone has any suggestions or advice, on how to maange this, I'd really and truly appreciate it.

Friday, January 25, 2008

How To Make a Margaret

The Recipe For margaret

3 parts Panache
2 parts Enchantment
1 part Courage

Splash of Elegance

Limit yourself to one serving. This cocktail is strong!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Another Quiz/Meme thing!

Snagged this one off of Onilyn's blog, and where she got it, I don't remember!

Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?

this quiz was made by Fury

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Photo Meme

I stole this from Kari who stole it from Suz! I'm just having a little fun tonight!
Answer the questions and type your answer into Google images search. Post a photo from the FIRST results page. (this can be tough!!)
Age you will be on your next birthday?

Place you would like to visit?
One of your favorite places

Your favorite object?
Your favorite food?
Your favorite animal?Name of a past pet?Where you live?1st grade teacher’s last name?Middle Name?A bad habit of yours?Favorite flower?Favorite Holiday?

Monday, January 21, 2008

Happy Birthday To Me...A Day Late

Well another year has gone by and my life is settling down to some semblance of sanity. You would think at 44 years old, I'd be sane most of the time, but that's not quite so yet! I've got the work situation down to a sane level, which is a start, since that's about a third of my life. The kids are sane most of the time, although not always! I've got my house cleaned up, which was one of my goals for this year. Although it's only the public areas, at this point, it's a solid start! My bedroom is next, and I know what I need to do in there! I have a friend, who is special to me in a lot of ways, and we're sane, although it's still fairly new! I think the biggest thing I need to do is reconcile with myself that the juggling of all these different aspects of my life will take time to settle into sanity and routine.

I had a great birthday weekend, both with the kids and my friend. Saturday we finished cleaning the public areas, although I still have to build my new desk and get this area completed. Then my friend took me out for a very nice dinner Saturday night. After dinner we just chilled out and watched a movie with the kids until his stomach started bothering him from overeating. SO we called it an early evening, but that was OK. Sunday he took me and DS out for brunch (DD didn't want to go) and then we hung out for a little while until he had to go get his chores done. Once he was done, I headed out there to watch football with him. It was nice to get a little time alone with him, where we could talk and cuddle comfortably! I know I really enjoy the mellow cuddle time we manage to get. I ended up staying out there until about 8, which was past his bedtime, since he had to work today. Came back here and the kids were eating dinner, so we just chilled out and headed for bed. DD had a friend sleep over last night, and they're still asleep now. I had a nice visit with DD's friend's father when he dropped her off yesterday, and he made some interesting comments and I'm loking forward to seeing how things play out in regard to these. He said he had a "premonition/feeling/revalation/whatever you want to call it" about my relationship with my friend, or someone else that I would meet via eHarmony. I'm not ready to deal with the actual prediciton, because it's way scarier words than I'm even close to thinking about and I'm not sure it's what I want in the long run. All I know at this point is that my friend and I are dancing around scary words with phrases, such as "you mean a lot to me". That's fine for me at this point!

I have learned many things about myself in this past year, particularly that I Do want a man in my life for the long run. I am totally monogamous and therefore fall hard, fast and completely. Can't help it, it's just the way I am. I still don't know that I ever want to get married again. I like my house clean, at least clean enough that I won't die if someone shows up unexpectedly! I love to stitch, but will never have enough time to do it. I love my kids, and will never again date someone they don't like. They both like my friend, which is a good thing, since I do too LOL! Life is easier when I do the cleaning, but it doesn't teach the kids anything about doing chores. So sometimes the harder path is the better one. I need God in my life, but I don't necessarily need organized religion. Christian music helps me stay grounded, so I need to ensure I listen to a little of it every day! I need to fly and enjoy flights of fancy sometimes, but not too often. I also need to keep my focus on the important things in life the rest will all fall into place. I'm falling now, and enjoying every second of the ride.

Today, I'm going to run some errands and meet my friend for lunch. All things are good in my world, but I'm still over analysing and thinking too much. I suspect this might be my biggest problem, and if I can stop doing that everything will fall into place.

Friday, January 11, 2008

I Had a Date Last Night!

I met this man through eHarmony as discussed in my previous post. We've been doing a lot of talking and met last weekend. Then we were supposed to do dinner on Tuesday, but he had a prior commitment that he'd forgotten about. I can understand that, since when I have appointments for things I don't really want to have to deal with, I tend to forget them too. So Tueday, we met for about 20 minutes before he had to go to his appointment, this was partially because DD had baked him some cookies, and I wanted to give them to him before they got stale! For our real date, we decided to go last night.

I met him at the mall about 3:30, since we both get off work early. We hung out there for awhile, but neither of us was really in the mood to mall troll, so we ended up sitting down and talking. Then we headed over to a local Chinese restaurant for some really yummy food. We both have leftovers for lunch today! Then he took me back to my car and we talked a little more before I came home. Yes, he kissed me! And Yes, it was nice! So just so everyone knows, I did go out with him and made it back home safely! I'm going to dinner with him and his friends on Saturday night, and I'll get to meet his "kids" (dogs) then! I'm really loking forward to seeing him again! In the meanwhile we'll talk on the phone and e-mails!

Don't worry I'm keeping myself grounded, and haven't completely shut down the eHarmony account. But I'm not starting any new communications at this point in time. This is really tough, because I'm habitually a very monogamous person, and if I'm dating someone, I don't talk to other guys, so I'm trying something new to keep myself from falling too hard or too fast for this one.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Happy New Year

I hope you all had a wonderful and safe New Year's Eve! I had a great time hanging out with J and celebrating the event on both the east coast and out here! It was so much fun to really chat and catch up with her, it's been awhile.

The kids had a great trip to their dad's and made it back safely last night. I missed them a lot and had a few times where I was really down, but overall it was a good holiday season here at the Ski's!

Work is going well, and I got through another month-end with relative ease! I still have some clean up work to do to finish it off, but nothing that I can't handle!

My best friend gave me a fantastic early birthday present when she bought me a month of eHarmony, which is where she met her DH. I've been having a lot of fun playing with the website and meeting some interesting people...via the e-mail only. HOwever, there is this one man that I've been chatting with that I really enjoy and I met him IRL yesterday. He met me at one of my favorite places to watch the first half of the dismal Redskin's game. I think I saw about 4 plays of the game, as we were just talking. He was everything that he seemed to be on the e-mails and a perfect gentleman. I am looking forward to talking with him again, and seeing more of him. At the same time, I am not jumping into anything or going down the road I went with XBF, as I don't want to go too fast or end up in the same situation again. We simply talked and I gave him a friend hug at the end of the "date" and we talked more last night. I've told DD all about him, and she thinks he sounds like a good guy, and thinks she wants to meet him! I told her that I wasn't ready for that yet, and wanted to see how things went with us and if he was someone I wanted in our lives for awhile, before I'd allow her and her brother to meet him. I haven't talked to DS about him yet, as that will be a different conversation than the one I shared with DD. DS will not get as much information, as DD as he is younger and deals with things differently, but he will hear about him today. As I want both kids to know that I am talking with someone, and it could potentially go further to the point where they will get to meet him.

He's invited me to go out with him and his friends next weekend, and I'm thinking about going. We'll see what this week brings, and then make a decision about what I'll do Saturday night. It sounds like a lot of fun, but...It's kind of scary at the same time! This is almost seeming like more of a true relationship than I ever had with XBF, and although it's what Ireally want for a long term type of thing, it's still scary!

So I'm off on a new adventure, and I'll share the experiences as they happen. In the meanwhile I'm just along for the ride!