Happy Birthday To Me...A Day Late

Well another year has gone by and my life is settling down to some semblance of sanity. You would think at 44 years old, I'd be sane most of the time, but that's not quite so yet! I've got the work situation down to a sane level, which is a start, since that's about a third of my life. The kids are sane most of the time, although not always! I've got my house cleaned up, which was one of my goals for this year. Although it's only the public areas, at this point, it's a solid start! My bedroom is next, and I know what I need to do in there! I have a friend, who is special to me in a lot of ways, and we're sane, although it's still fairly new! I think the biggest thing I need to do is reconcile with myself that the juggling of all these different aspects of my life will take time to settle into sanity and routine.

I had a great birthday weekend, both with the kids and my friend. Saturday we finished cleaning the public areas, although I still have to build my new desk and get this area completed. Then my friend took me out for a very nice dinner Saturday night. After dinner we just chilled out and watched a movie with the kids until his stomach started bothering him from overeating. SO we called it an early evening, but that was OK. Sunday he took me and DS out for brunch (DD didn't want to go) and then we hung out for a little while until he had to go get his chores done. Once he was done, I headed out there to watch football with him. It was nice to get a little time alone with him, where we could talk and cuddle comfortably! I know I really enjoy the mellow cuddle time we manage to get. I ended up staying out there until about 8, which was past his bedtime, since he had to work today. Came back here and the kids were eating dinner, so we just chilled out and headed for bed. DD had a friend sleep over last night, and they're still asleep now. I had a nice visit with DD's friend's father when he dropped her off yesterday, and he made some interesting comments and I'm loking forward to seeing how things play out in regard to these. He said he had a "premonition/feeling/revalation/whatever you want to call it" about my relationship with my friend, or someone else that I would meet via eHarmony. I'm not ready to deal with the actual prediciton, because it's way scarier words than I'm even close to thinking about and I'm not sure it's what I want in the long run. All I know at this point is that my friend and I are dancing around scary words with phrases, such as "you mean a lot to me". That's fine for me at this point!

I have learned many things about myself in this past year, particularly that I Do want a man in my life for the long run. I am totally monogamous and therefore fall hard, fast and completely. Can't help it, it's just the way I am. I still don't know that I ever want to get married again. I like my house clean, at least clean enough that I won't die if someone shows up unexpectedly! I love to stitch, but will never have enough time to do it. I love my kids, and will never again date someone they don't like. They both like my friend, which is a good thing, since I do too LOL! Life is easier when I do the cleaning, but it doesn't teach the kids anything about doing chores. So sometimes the harder path is the better one. I need God in my life, but I don't necessarily need organized religion. Christian music helps me stay grounded, so I need to ensure I listen to a little of it every day! I need to fly and enjoy flights of fancy sometimes, but not too often. I also need to keep my focus on the important things in life the rest will all fall into place. I'm falling now, and enjoying every second of the ride.

Today, I'm going to run some errands and meet my friend for lunch. All things are good in my world, but I'm still over analysing and thinking too much. I suspect this might be my biggest problem, and if I can stop doing that everything will fall into place.